Clone Wars Craziness
by SherlockSoka
Summary: Random stuff. Sexual themes,adult language, what I think Jedi do in their spare time. Anakin is the only sane person. Sort of.
1. What?

"AHSOKA! WHAT THE DONUT ARE YOU DOING?" Anakin screamed as his Padawan danced in front of the Jedi Council like Michael Jackson wearing a narwhal costume. All the Jedi Masters were pointing and staring at her strange behavior.

"I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!" Obi-wan screamed, bolting from his seat, eyes wild and crazy. He started hopping around the room, a wide grin on his face "I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT! I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT! I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!" he chanted.

Yoda pulled out a helium tank and took a lungful of the gas, he spoke," La la la la la la al a!" he yelled spinning around in his chair, sounding like a deranged chipmunk. He started to try to eat Windu's head. Windu slapped him with a deafening crunch. Yoda looked up, lis face looking like Justin Beiber.

The door opened, and Whoopi Goldberg stepped in holding a script, eyes glued to the papers.

"Excuse me, do you know where Stage 97A is?" she politely asked Ahsoka, her dark dreaklocks trailing behind her face.

"YEAH! YEAH! IT'S UP YOUR ASS!" Ahsoka yelled, laughing manically. Whoopi turned and walked out of the room without another word.

Padme walked in and started to grind against Anakin, who couldn't help but become aroused, in font of the insane Jedi Council.

"FUCK ME, ANAKIN!" she screamed, ripping off her clothes. Anakin slapped her out of her insanity, and she quickly regained herself and her clothes. Anakin mentally slapped himself, humiliated by his friends' behavior.

_This is gunna take a while to explain._


	2. Explanation

**Anakin's POV**

_I know what you're thinking, "What the fuck is this?" Well, let me explain and hopefully, you'll understand what's going on._

_ #1) I keep saying the word "donut" It's weird. Donut!_

_ #2) Ahsoka has become obsessed with Michael Jackson and narwhals. She cusses a lot, too._

_ #3) Obi-wan is obsessed with bunnies and LMFAO. Don't ask why._

_ #4 )Yoda's species gets high on (DONUT!) helium, and they get all weird when they inhale it. Also, if you punch them, they look like Justin Beiber. I have no idea how that works. Also, when high on (DONUT!) helium, they become extremely hungry. Probably because their metabolism is working overtime with the helium._

_ #5) I don't know what the deal is (DONUT!) with Whoopi Goldberg. She just kinda shows up lost a lot._

_ #6) Padme think I'm the sexiest guy ever.( _Well, it's true_.) She humiliated me in front of the council asking he to fuck her. Well, that's one more reason for divorce. I'll (DONUT!) add it to the list._

_ Well, there you have it. Now, back to your usual Internet-surfing. Peace!_


	3. Changes

** I just love getting reviews from everybody! Please press that pretty blue button? *does puppy eyes***

**Anakin's POV**

So I was minding my own freaking business, when Ahsoka jumps out at me in a _panda_ (DONUT!) suit, a change from her usual narwhal attire.

"Baby, baby, baby, oooohh! Like, baby, baby, ba-" she screamed.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled, covering my ears from the _horrible_ song.

"Oooohh…what's the donut man going to do to me? Rape me?" she laughed. "I actually might enjoy it," she said with a smirk.

"Whoa, there, DONUT! Ahsoka! Calm you vagina, woman!"

"Fine," she grumbled, leaving Justin Beiber stickers behind her.

Anakin slapped himself, just as Yoda walked up.

"Ellohay, Nakinasay," he said. "Owhey reasey ouyay odaysay?"

"Three words: what-the-fuck," I said, very confused.

"On'tday aysay ouyay on'tday nowkay Igpay Atinplay!" he exclaimed.

"What?"

"Evernay indmay, evernay indmay," he sighed, walking away.

"Weird," I said with a shrug. I walked into my quarters, and tried to turn on the light, but it wasn't working. I was just about to walk out to find a spare light bulb-

"Hello," said a seductive voice. I used the force to see who it was. Padme, completely naked, lying on _my_ bed.

"I would DONUT! appreciate it if you would masturbate in your _own_ room," I said with a smirk.

"Don't I arouse you?" she asked, beckoning for him to come closer.

"Of course, but now is _not_ the time for sex," I said sternly, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Fine," she grumbled, quickly dressing herself, and left.

_This is going to be a long, long day._

** (PS, YODA WAS SPEAKING IN PIG LATIN. REVIEW IF YOU CAN SPEAK IT, CUX I CAN!)**


	4. Another Freakin' Explanation

_Anakin's Guide to Insane Jedi_

_ Once again, it is time for me to explain why the Jedi are going bonkers._

_#1) Ahsoka now likes narwhals (DONUT!) and Justin Beiber. Still cusses. Also, she is in love with me, not in a good way. xP BLEH._

_#2) Yoda has discovered a weird language that I can't (DONUT!) understand. He still likes helium._

_#3) I haven't seen Obi-wan lately. That might not be a good thing._

_#4) Padme` is still the slut that she is. :/_

_ That's all I know for now. (DONUT!) Oh, I still say donut._


	5. EVEN MORE CHANGES!

**Anakin's POV**

"I NEED FUCKING PANCAKES!" Obi-wan screamed from across the Temple.

"You had DONUT! pancakes this morning!" I yelled back, storming into his room. "How could you _possibly_ need more?"

"I don' knooow," he said, looking at his pancake-covered carpet and walls innocently. He stuck out his tongue at me.

"Whatever," I sighed, walking out of the room to run into Mace Windu, who was smoking a green plant, peace signs all over his tunic. He was wearing one of those reggae hats with fake dreadlocks. He tilted down his orange sunglasses to look at me.

"Want some weed?" he asked, holding out the green plant he was smoking.

"I'd prefer DONUT! to be sober, thank you," I said, walking right past him to yet again, run into a crazy Jedi.

"Hi, Master! Hi, Master! Hi, Master!" Ahsoka said, popping out of nowhere, dressed in a koala costume, a Black-eyes Peas T-shirt over the top. "Hi, Master! Hi, Master! Hi, Master! Hi Mas-"

"SHUT THE DONUT UP!" I yelled. Covering my ears.

_Why do I always have to explain everything?_


	6. I'm not going to bother putting a title

Once Again, I have to explain EVERYTHING!

I am getting fed up with having to explain every kriffin' thing that (DONUT!) happens. Grrrrr...

#1) Obi-wan likes pancakes. If you even (DONUT!) mention them he will come screaming with his hands in the air. Trust me, I've (DONUT!) tried it. It didn't end well.

#2) Mace Windu has (DONUT!) discovered a strange plant that gets you high. He's a hippie, and it's freaking me out, and it ain't (DONUT!) easy to freak me out. Besides Padme.

#3) Ahsoka likes koalas and Black-eyes peas and (DONUT!) energy drinks. She's got a huge stash of mega Monsters in her room. It smells like (DONUT!) Taurine in there.

Well, that's all for now and I'll keep you (DONUT!) updated on the Jedi lack of sanity.

Peace!

(!)


End file.
